Blooming Lovely

Blooming Lovely: The dandelion show is up to three weeks late because of the harsh winter. But the sunny spell means magnificent carpets of flowers are opening up across Huddersfield.

News Round-Up

A man who paints pictures-that-look-like-photographs of famous people – and women who are showing a bit – has done one of the queen. He says everyone seems to like it. He is also going to paint pictures of some runners for the Olympics including The Blade Runner from South Africa – who is known as the fastest thing on no legs.

Other News:

People have been asking for money because they are going to ride their bikes at the 
weekend.

Motoring Review: Seat Altea

Seat are always saying "emocion" which is Spanish for emotion; so what are my emotions about this car?

My girlfriend has been backpacking and she says she hates it.

It is a 4x4 car and It has 17"wheels that are made out of alloy.

I don't want to talk to my girlfriend about lamas and shit; I can put a cup, or my sunglasses down in a handy place – and I can fold down some seats and have a table like on an aeroplane. The chrome bit on the radiator is the best and the gearshift knob is ergonomic.

The New Fragrance from the Post Office

Women's Institute: It's not all jam and Jerusalem

The Women’s Institute is casting off its fuddy-duddy image: jam making and needlework, cake sales, crafts, baking cakes and singing songs.

A basket of locally produced items, Jam-making and coffee mornings

and so forth. This long established organisation who’s first branch was founded in Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch, Wales on 11 September 1915, is keen to promote its change of outlook in a bid to attract new younger members. Recent activities have included: Homeopathy, Dieting, fitness, quad-biking, hare coursing, DOGGING, pleasures of masturbation, occult weekenders, and X-Factor.

Welcome to the Compact News digital blog

Compact News used to exist as a zine, widely distributed across the shelf by the window at Coffee Evolution in Huddersfield (click HERE for virtual facsimiles of early editions – turn the pages with the click of a mouse!)

Anyway, I can't be bothered with all that anymore, it's time consuming, costs money and the staff at the printers poke fun at my drawings, so I've created this live digital Compact News service in its place.

Cheers!